Just home from Norway.
Just read the Daily Express Saturday magazine piece on me and where I am now.
Just come-to.
Must’ve fainted.
Or something.

She was clearly not the sharpest sandwich at the picnic.
The interview was like pulling my own teeth out.
Explained details of my life and times so clearly and definitively, came close to patronisation.
Now I read I have two “daughters”, Kerr and Greta.
And that Richard Madeley gave “me” (ME!) my first job as a reporter!
What must my 6’3” strapping son think?
(He knew the piece was coming)
What must the Madeley-meister think?
(He reads it because he writes for the paper).

You couldn’t make it up.